The Most Dangerous Story You Keep Telling Yourself

As women, we carry a lifetime of experiences that have shaped the way we see ourselves and the world around us. From childhood to adulthood, our beliefs, both empowering and limiting, are formed through what we’ve been told, how we’ve been treated, and the messages we’ve internalized. While some of these beliefs serve us well, others hold us back, keeping us stuck in cycles of self-doubt, insecurity, and fear of failure.

The challenge? Many of the ideas we hold about ourselves were developed when we were children,when our understanding of the world was limited, and our critical thinking skills were still forming. And yet, these outdated beliefs can follow us into adulthood, influencing everything from our self-esteem to our relationships, career choices, and personal growth.

How Childhood Messages Become Lifelong Beliefs

Think back to when you were a child. The adults around you, parents, teachers, caregivers, often seemed all-knowing and powerful. As children, we absorbed what they told us about ourselves, whether it was encouragement (“You are so smart!”) or criticism (“You never pay attention.”). Without the ability to challenge these statements, we often accepted them as truth.

• If a teacher said you were easily distracted, you may have carried that into adulthood, believing you’re incapable of focus.

• If a sibling called you unattractive, you may still struggle with self-image, even decades later.

• If a classmate made you feel like you didn’t belong, you may have internalized the belief that you are unlikable or socially awkward.

  
  

The problem? These early experiences create a filter through which we see the world. Without realizing it, we start seeking evidence that supports these old, untrue beliefs, whether by choosing unhealthy relationships, playing small in our careers, or feeling unworthy of love and success.

The Impact of False Beliefs on Our Lives

The way we see ourselves influences the way we show up in the world. If you’ve been holding onto negative self-perceptions, they may be affecting you in ways you don’t even realize:

• Relationships: Do you find yourself repeatedly drawn to partners who don’t treat you well? Your self-beliefs may be reinforcing the idea that this is all you deserve.

  
  

• Career and Success: Have you ever hesitated to apply for a job, start a business, or take a leap because you secretly believe you’re not capable?

  
  

• Perfectionism and Overachievement: Sometimes, a deeply rooted belief that we are not enough drives us to overcompensate, striving for perfection, always trying to prove our worth, and feeling exhausted in the process.

  
  

Ironically, some of the most outwardly successful women are also the most insecure,constantly working to silence that inner voice whispering, You will never be enough.

How We Subconsciously Seek Confirmation of Our Beliefs

There’s a psychological concept called confirmation bias, which means we naturally seek out information that supports what we already believe. This applies to self-worth, too.

• If you believe you’re not good at making friends, you may interpret a missed invitation as proof that you’re being excluded (even if it was just an oversight).

  
  

• If you believe you’re unlovable, you may dismiss genuine compliments from your partner, assuming they are just saying it to be nice.

  
  

• If you think you’ll never be successful, you may avoid opportunities that could prove you wrong, staying stuck in the same patterns instead.

  
  

Essentially, we see what we expect to see. And unless we intentionally challenge these long-held beliefs, we will continue to find "evidence" that keeps us stuck.

Breaking the Cycle: How to Rewrite Your Self-Beliefs

The good news? You can change these narratives. Identifying and rewriting the false beliefs you’ve carried for years is the first step toward creating a more confident, empowered version of yourself.

Take some time to reflect on these journaling prompts:

• What patterns keep showing up in my friendships and relationships? Could I be unintentionally projecting my own self-doubts into these situations?

  
  

• What beliefs about myself have shaped my romantic relationships? Have I been choosing partners based on an outdated self-image?

  
  

• What messages did I receive about myself as a child that I now realize were untrue? How can I replace those lies with truth?

  
  

By recognizing and challenging the old beliefs that no longer serve you, you can step into a new chapter,one where you are worthy, enough, and no longer defined by the past.

Ready to Transform Your Mindset?

If you're tired of battling self-doubt and limiting beliefs, you don’t have to do it alone. As a life coach for women, I help women just like you break free from past conditioning, build self-confidence, and create a life of true fulfillment.

Are you ready to let go of old stories and step into your full potential? Let’s talk. Book a free clarity call today and start rewriting your story.