The Lesson I Didn’t Expect from Falling Apart

Over the past two years, I have been on a relentless pursuit to understand why I am prone to certain addictions. I have shared before that I experienced burnout for about a year, and if you have been through burnout yourself, you know how devastating that season can be.

Burnout leaves you feeling useless to yourself and others. It drains every last ounce of energy and motivation, making even the simplest tasks, like getting out of bed, feel overwhelming. As someone who is naturally goal-driven, I found it incredibly frustrating that not only did I lack the desire to achieve, but I was also incapable of mustering the energy to try.

So, in true workaholic fashion, I made fixing myself my new full-time job. I was determined to return to my old level of productivity, convinced that once I overcame burnout, I would be back to my high-achieving self. What I did not expect was that healing would not bring me back to who I used to be. Instead, it introduced me to a completely new version of myself.

I came to realize that burnout was not just a result of overworking. It was a symptom of a deeply ingrained belief system that I needed to dismantle. I had spent my life chasing achievement, not for the joy of the process, but to momentarily silence a voice inside me that said I was not enough. What I have discovered on the other side of burnout is a healthier version of me. I still dream big and strive for my goals, but I am now intentional about where I place my energy.

I am learning to pursue the things in my heart without trying to fill an internal void with accomplishments. Instead of striving for fleeting moments of external validation, I am learning to rely on the strength of God to guide me toward the purpose He has set before me. The still, small voice that was always there is finally getting my attention. It is leading me away from distractions and toward a life of intention. Most importantly, I am learning that I am wholly and truly loved by a faithful God, and that I am worthy of loving myself.

The Answer to Everything is Love

If I could sum up the greatest lesson of this journey, it is this: the answer to everything is love.

I know that sounds cliché, almost like a too-simple solution to a deeply complex problem. But I am telling you, this is where my newfound freedom is coming from. Love is both something we receive and something we give. I am receiving the unconditional love of God, which is teaching me to love myself. As I learn to love myself, I am finally able to love others in a way that is genuine, life-giving, and honoring to those around me.

One of the most powerful truths I am learning is this: we cannot give to others what we do not have for ourselves. If I do not receive unconditional love, I cannot truly give unconditional love. If I constantly pour love into others without receiving it, whether from God, from others, or from myself, I will eventually run dry. I will become an empty vessel, running on fumes, with nothing left to give.

Are You Living in Love or Fear?

At our core, every human being longs to be loved. Our deepest fears and struggles often stem from the belief that we are not enough, that we are unworthy of love and belonging. To cope, we build intricate facades and shape-shift into whatever we think will make us more acceptable or admired. But no matter how much we achieve, how much we perfect, or how much we seek approval, we can spend our entire lives chasing love without ever truly feeling it.

One of the biggest shifts in my journey has been learning to recognize the difference between living in love, which brings connection and abundance, and living in fear, which creates separation and scarcity.

When we live in love, we exist in a state of abundance. We know we are enough. We believe there is more than enough love, success, and opportunity to go around.

When we live in fear, we feel like we are lacking. We believe we are not enough. We fear our resources will run out, and we act in self-protection, constantly striving to prove our worth.

Are You a Pipe or a Bucket?

My coach recently shared an analogy with me that changed my perspective on love. We can be one of two containers, a pipe or a bucket.

A pipe allows love to flow through it, but it does not retain anything for itself.

A bucket receives love, holds onto it, and naturally overflows onto others as it becomes more full.

Many of us operate like pipes. We might be capable of showing love to others, but we do not allow ourselves to truly receive love. Instead, we let it pass through us, never believing we are worthy of holding onto it ourselves. But when we function as a bucket, we allow love to fill us to the point of overflowing. What we give to others then comes from a place of true abundance rather than depletion.

Reflect and Journal

Take some time to reflect on these questions.

• Am I acting like a pipe or a bucket when it comes to love?

• How comfortable am I with receiving love from others? Does it make me uncomfortable? Why?

• Do I truly love myself unconditionally? If not, what is stopping me?

  
  

Final Thoughts

Healing from burnout and breaking free from the cycle of overachievement has led me to a profound truth. Love is the foundation of everything. When we live in love, we thrive. When we live in fear, we struggle. Choosing to receive love and to rest in the knowledge that we are already enough is the key to lasting fulfillment.

So, let me ask you again. Are you a pipe, or are you a bucket?

Choose to receive. Choose to overflow. Choose love.

If you are reading this and realizing that you do not know where to begin when it comes to loving yourself, I want you to know that you do not have to figure it out alone. This is exactly the kind of transformation I help people navigate in my empowerment sessions as a life coach. If you are ready to step into a life of self-worth, purpose, and abundance, I would love to walk with you on that journey. You can book your free discovery call now!